Music..

"The music was here...and here. That's the one thing they can't confiscate, not ever. That's the beauty of it. Haven't you ever felt that way about music, Red?We need it so we don't forget that there are things in this world not carved out of gray stone. That there's a small place inside of us they can never lock away, and that place is called hope." (From Shawshank Redemption)

If (by Rudyard Kipling)

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Lie...

“What’s the world’s greatest lie?” the boy asked, completely surprised.
“It’s this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie.”.....

Optimism or denial?

Just read this article "For a happier life, shake off your misplaced optimism" on FT where the author talks about sheer "hope" being one of the key causes of the financial crisis where everyone just had too much faith in the future growth of economy and just forgot to factor in the risk of a calamity or unexpected.The article talks about a very valid point of too much optimism being counter-productive at times. I just could not help but wonder how frequently in life we tread the fine line between optimism and unrealistic expectations. Is a little pessimism healthy for making practical life choices?

All the black swans in the bountiful river of hope exhort us to treat all the unexpected events as the ones which would change us for better in an unexpected way. Does it always help to take life as it comes with a few rare calamities embedded into it by hoping that these events will unfold something unknowingly fruitful? Or does it make sense to sacrifice a bit of optimism in accepting the eventuality of the black swans and making practical decisions before they swim into the hopeful river full of pointed stones questioning our decision-making and foresight?
Have we been over-stretching our optimisim to justify things not turning up as we had expected them to? Is it not better to introspect and think of a better approach for the time to come instead of being so reluctant in accepting "grapes are sour"?At times, we are not in control of anything that happens to us. But it might be better to take it as an event to learn something from instead of clouding it with too much optimism that everything happened for the best.
I will not have even myself question my optimism which is sacred in a lot of ways but I just feel that we tend to overuse the "hope for the best" medicine at times instead of asking ourselves about what really went wrong?

With a song..

I start with a song, a new one
or the same as the one before.
Its the sound of what I could be,
the music flows in the stream
of unsung feelings, unsaid thoughts.
Lyrics pick up a special meaning,
meaning of happiness and love.

I return with a song, a new one
or the one I started with,
but its not the same sound,
The music now flows to remind
the spoken words, numbed feelings.
All meanings are lost,
to be reinvented when I start again..

Looking forward to...

It was 1:30 post lunch and I was feeling a bit tired & bored. There were no pressing deadlines but there was a meeting to be scheduled, some new ideas which I could start working on, some interesting articles that I have been looking forward to finish reading since long etc but stillI felt tired and bored. I wanted the clock to run faster as I was looking forward to gym and French class in the evening which I have been ignoring since a long time. I wanted these few hours to get over quickly.

But while I was still cribbing in my head, it struck me: " Whom do these hours belong to?"

There are many things that belong to me and I love them. I love possessing new things and hence my mania for shopping which I openly and shamelessly assert at the first chance.( which is quite obvious as I talk about it in a seemingly irrelevant context :-) )

I never want to loose my possessions. Were my hours really so insignificant to me?It really hurts me to think that on so many occasion I end up loosing my time or wish it to get over soon because of some lame excuses which are mostly looking forward to something elsewhich seems more interesting then. These excuses are lame indeed!

It is almost ironic that in trying to get rid of things that momentarily are not very appealing,we end up loosing those precious moments in search of something else.

While I was still in the rambling mode, I get this deadline task..

Change!

I am writing after a long time and I think I wrote the last time during the ddp days at IIT. Everyone keeps talking about the principle of change being the only thing that never changes and truly so many things have changed since July. We all encounter many changes everyday but stepping out of the college life into the corporate world was a big change for me which I always thought would be noisy and conspicuous. There was a sense of awareness of things changing around me and hence this blog entry but surprisingly it has been a relatively smooth transition.

All seniors kept talking about the nostalgia and how much do they miss college life and friends which used to make me dread leaving the place and entering into a totally new world. But now I am looking forward to all the new things ahead of me.

I miss IIT a lot and I don't think its possible to reconstruct the experiences of those days in future at any other place but there are so many things which I like so much about the work life. The professionalism which is a part and parcel of the corporate culture to me is an absolute winner over the "coolness quotient notion" of the college days which used to be a popular alibi for not being disciplined most of the times. It feels good to be rewarded for being serious & focused about the goals.

One may say that its about being able to adapt to the surroundings as they change and make the most out of it but lets just say I am not so adaptable (Is this ironic to "the whole life is strewn with ceaseless changes and accepting the change" idea that I started with?) and I am happy being in the place that suits me better.

And ofcourse, I have been shopping like a maniac, what can be more fulfilling than that?;) At the risk of being too optimistic ( excuse the effect of financial lingo ), I will say that it feels great to be growing everyday into a different & better person, closer to what I want to be.
I am just wondering the number of times I have used the word "change" above!

Free to be you and me

There's a land that I see where the children are free
And I say it ain't far to this land from where we are
Take my hand, come with me, where the children are free
Come with me, take my hand, and we'll live

In a land where the river runs free
In a land through the green country
In a land to a shining sea
And you and me are free to be you and me

I see a land bright and clear, and the time's comin' near
When we'll live in this land, you and me, hand in hand
Take my hand, come along, lend your voice to my song
Come along, take my hand, sing a song

For a land where the river runs free
For a land through the green country
For a land to a shining sea
For a land where the horses run free
And you and me are free to be you and me

Every boy in this land grows to be his own man
In this land, every girl grows to be her own woman
Take my hand, come with me where the children are free
Come with me, take my hand, and we'll run

To a land where the river runs free
To a land through the green country
To a land to a shining sea
To a land where the horses run free
To a land where the children are free
And you and me are free to be
And you and me are free to be
And you and me are free to be you and me

You and me

Kidnap the Drona

Last weekend for me was one of those times when you watch movies just for the heck of it without caring for the reviews and for some very strong source of motivation. What else do you think could be my reason to watch Kidnap and Drona in 2 days? But that doesn't stop me from writing a review myself. Kidnap inspires every girl to give time to her looks..well if Minisha Lamba can look super-hot even when she is kidnapped especially by ensuring that her clothes are kidnapped too. Also it inspires every mom to look younger and hotter than her daughter. The loudness of the exposure started embarrasing the guys in the theatre after a while which I think was deliberate on the the part of the director to teach the young guys a lesson on respecting women.
Drona very successfully impresses the audience with the notion that a superhero can be weak too, weaker than cindrella. Abhiskek has (not) worked out day and night to fit into the role of Drona who many times almost seemed to be ready for rona dhona. Also the climax clearly shows the clout which Bacchan's have on Goldi Behl. During the shoot of last scene, Abhishek notices Kay-2 Menon's eye color and wants the same for himself and so drona becomes dracula in the end.
My interest to write on such movies surprises me and I can write more but it will be an absolute assault to an innocent reader who has seen both the movies over the weekend, though I doubt the existence of one.
Nevertheless my weekend was fantastic, fabulous, lovely and the best. :)

Auld Lang Syne

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne ?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
And surely I’ll buy mine !
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.

We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine^† ;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

!?

When will this get over?
Why its changing so fast?

Why don't you work?
When do you have the time?

Well you are always kidding!
Why don't you take things easy?

What is the big passion in life?
Why not happiness in small things?

Why its never planned?
Why always time-lines?

Why don't they care?
As if I care what they think!

Why its so routine?
Why is life non-linear?

When will I finish the paper?
What should I write?

Mood: saturated
Music: humko humise chura lo..

Chain Reaction

Memories of jee days and mummy daddy waiting outside the exam center comes flooding to my mind every year when I see parents of all jee/gate/cdeep etc etc aspirants waiting outside the convo or MB halls eagerly waiting and hoping to see their kids rushing out after exams smiling.

These aged men and women appear very godly and mystical with their eyes gleaming with the dreams of their children and their faces full of hope and prayers. It is really overwhelming to see how our parents nurture our aspirations in them and the way they calm us down but at the same time take the entire burden of the possibility of a setback on their shoulders. They live every moment of our success, they silently frown on our failures but they never let our spirits die.

Especially here in India, we remain financially dependent on our parents for a long time. But more than the monetary support, they treat us as a part of their existence even when we start growing old and when we are besieged by our own responsibilities. Their unlimited kindness and selflessness was flowing all around me today when the hostel was full of people in their thirties who came for Phd interviews accompanied by their parents and really compelled me to be able to express somehow the inexpressible amount of gratitude that I hold for my parents.

I wonder is there anything that I can do for my parents and call it even! I guess not. Some people may criticize the idea of supporting children financially and mentally after teenage a bit too much and bad for their coming years which they will have to tread alone and face their own challenges. But I feel, in our culture, it sets on a chain reaction and is a part of our learning as we grow up. It inspires us to go a little extra mile when it will be our turn to support our kids, multiply their happiness and divide their tensions.

whats beyond?

Some of the recent happenings made me think of the umpteen number of mental constraints that we develop as we grow up. Each of us are born with a free mind which if not trained in a particular fashion will be free to observe, interpret and understand things in its own unique way. But one of the achievements of modern day civilization is its ability to transfer the acquired knowledge in a compact way over the years to the new generation. This streamlines and speeds up the invention of newer ideas and systematically adds to the already existing knowledge base. But isn't this way of trying to bring a system in everything and riding the same boats on the well-defined streamlines actually in a way limiting our capabilities to think beyond what is beyond.

Almost 6-7 years of studying science and engineering introduces many models and categories of problems. When faced with any new problem, the first instinct is trying to fit the problem in an already defined model whose development for sure will be based on another chronologically older model. In many cases, it may solve the problem saving a lot of time and effort which would have otherwise been wasted (or invested?) trying to solve it from scratch! May be this problem fitted exactly in a category, but the emphasis on final solution rather than the process of getting it mars the innovation that could have resulted from a human mind trying to solve it in the absence of a framework. In fact in most of the cases, we end up complicating the procedure by ignoring the fundamentals and focusing on the methodology. And what about those problems which are new "new"?The constrained minds will end up forcing such problems into one of the pre-defined structure with the handy tool of assumptions or the problem will remain unsolved!

The habit of limiting the mind to conform to what is already known will be a foe in disguise to everything that involves thinking. The disguise becomes more obscure when things are less mathematical and a little abstract. The most striking example to me is the way relationships are always classified into some traditional definitions of brother, husband, friends or some more trendy ones like bfrnd-gfrnd, rakhi brother, committed, dating. Why do we so blatantly and confidently declare that every relationship should fall into one of these definitions?

Why is to so hard to conceive that there may be a possibility of something entirely new, different or unheard of? And those who are willing to accept the difference will turn neologistic and will eagerly be in line to discover a new expression for it. In our everyday thinking, we always look for frameworks and analogies to understand the vastness around us. Our aversion to independent thought process make us unreasonably trying to put a label or define a box around every situation. It may be satisfying as we will know exactly in which box do we stand at every instant. But it may not always be enough to be inside the box or for that matter even outside the box. At times one needs to know the exact coordinates.

Colour Code

What if we wake up in the morning to find that the world has turned black and white? Imagine life without colors! A mother formally introduces a baby to colors by showing it the blue sky. And then as we grow up, we have some unforgettable personal moments when we get the first pack of crayons or have a chance encounter with a rainbow.

Everything colorful around gradually transforms into symbolism. In some cases it is well-defined like the color codes to denote the resistance of a conductor or the change in taste with the change in colors while cooking food. But every person understands and gets accustomed to a personal undefined color language. The red color of a bride's dress and a rose speak of love, the golden color of light represents prosperity and the color pink cannot make me think of anything else but Neha Singh :P

Whereas the codes of black-white, saffron-green for me will always be the symbols of depravity of human mind, the thing which I am going to miss the most about the hostel is the fun of celebrating colors on holi which erases all codes and differences.

Unconditional love :P

I have never been a great fan of comedy movies (Bollywood, in particular). However, after watching Om Shaanti Om and Welcome in theatre, I gave positive reviews to some friends who believed in my good taste for movies. I did'nt find it unusual since I found some SRK fans and some "we went to see deepika/Katrina types" people who agreed with me.
But I became aware of my newly found love for watching no-sense, substandard comedy movies on big screen with the release of TASHAN. I could'nt find a single person to agree with me. Even a size-zero Kareena failed to charm the guys. And all my efforts to argue on the entertainment value of the movie were met with "Nandu's motorboat :O" kind of reactions. But I enjoyed it. Perhaps, thats what an unconditional love is! (I went to the extent of imagining that the money-sucking multiplex-owners bribed the reviewers to poison the viewers' minds.)
I believe the cause of this unreasonable love lies in my state of mind at the time of watching the movie.(while writing this post, i realized that I thought of Tashan as a comedy movie). I don't think I could have possibly liked this movie on comp. It is similar to the situation when we find a moment particularly funny but fail to reproduce the effect when we narrate it to someone else since the place, time and moods are different.
I guess when mind is free of expectations and the intention is to have fun at any cost (of course here the cost is the people who are ever going to believe in my movie reviews), no entertainment is bad entertainment.

Prayers..

As I was moving ahead in my life journey passing by several milestones and roadblocks, I lost the habit of praying regularly, asking for god's help and nurtured the belief that I do not need to ask him for what I want explicitly, its understood, after all god knows everything. Something was amiss in this belief..what if he didn't know what I want? Would I want to miss something just because I didn't ask !
God surely does know everything but do I know everything about myself? May be not everything! So when I ask god for something for me or for friends and family, don't I actually realize who is important for me? what really do I want?
It helps me keep the focus and direct my actions to those things which mean the most to me and at the same time keeps away negativity by presenting the big picture. Its a wonderful way to keep me tied to who I am, where I belong and where do I want to go! And when things don't go right, I can always trust god for doing what was best for me and help me forgive myself. Its the best way to communicate to your inner self, to the god who exist within you or some place else to let him know you better!

dream...

to dream anything that you want to dream. thats the beauty of the human mind. To do anything u want to do that is the strength of human will, to trust yourself to test ur limits that is the courage to succeed

Gyanam Paramam Dhyayam

These words on the iitb emblem have been a fountainhead of pride for me ever since I entered as a freshie and reinforced my connection with the place every time I walked towards the department on what i think is the most beautiful lane in the insti...
"Knowledge is the supreme goal" ..the meaning would be pretty obvious for a person who knows a minuscule sanskrit, and it really bothers me that I never thought about its meaning before it first struck me...the words were just fixated on my mind just like the prayers that we mugged up for morning assembly in school.
Knowledge is indeed the supreme goal...people do different things and the end result is knowing what was unknown.... people say one should act and not think about the results..but every action and every possibleoutcome of that action is associated with knowing...the type of knowing could be different. its essentially of two types

frozen knowledge - information in books, internet, newspapers, live art..this is of the type which makes me hungry n restless..when i walk into the library or open wikipedia or howstuffworks..its main characteristic is the vastness and volume..availability is not the issue when there is google but it comes with determination and patience

inner spark- this is more like self-knowledge...it is not to gain but to discover and so like any other discovery its difficult to see it...the source is "me"
every day, every experience, every success, every failure is knowledge...this thought is strong enough to motivate me..its too optimistic view of life... it does sound geeky to think about everything that one is doing as "earning a part of the knowledge miscellany" ...;)
But the great thing is thinking about things that i like to do in this way makes the "the other not so interesting meant to increase my knowledge" stuff less boring :D